


A False Memory (Would Be Everything)

by redwo0ds



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Gina tries to be a good friend, Holt is a good dad, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Protective Ray Holt, Roger Peralta is much more of a dick than usual, Roger Peralta’s A+ Parenting, Swearing, Why am I making a sitcom sad wtf, also there’s like one f-bomb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 08:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15384888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redwo0ds/pseuds/redwo0ds
Summary: In which Roger Peralta was more than just neglectful.Or, an alternate take on the episode “Captain Peralta”, where Roger was physically abusive to Jake during his childhood.  Holt steps in to try and right some wrongs, or, at the very least, protect Jake.





	A False Memory (Would Be Everything)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! I know this is a touchy subject, so I’m just going to let you all know that this work does have a lot of references to child abuse, physical in nature, as well as some implied emotional abuse. As someone who has been abused (emotionally), I understand that this can be not a fun topic. There is no flashback where we see any abuse, and, it doesn’t get much in depth to the abuse itself. It’s more about the trauma from it after.

“Peralta, how is that string of connected burglary cases coming along?” 

At the mention of his name, detective Jake Peralta looked up at his captain from his desk.

He smiled, opening a folder and moving his chair closer.“It’s going really well, actually, Look,” Jake pointed to a file. “I ran the license plate number that was probs the escape car and it looks like this is our guy. Some weirdo named Kelvin Thomas.The prints match up, too.”

Holt picked up the folder and began skimming the neat, printed font in the center, and deciphering the messy, Jake Peralta handwriting on the sides.

Jake continued. “Anyone with a last name that works as a first name is bad news,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

After studying the papers, he put it back down on the detective’s desk.

“Good work, Peralta.”  The older man turned to leave, but, before he could start walking back to his office, Jake grabbed his arm roughly.

Looking down, surprised, he noticed the younger man looking in fear towards the elevators.

“Jake!” 

A man smiling, probably in his fifties, dressed in a pilot’s uniform, started casually walking towards them.

“Peralta?” Holt asked calmly.

Jake looked up at Holt, and, noticing that he was still gripping his superior’s arm, removed the hand as if he was burnt.  Before Holt could ask what was wrong, the pilot was already to the pair.

“H-hey, dad,” Jake responded in a sheepish voice, looking up at the man. “What’s— what’s going on?”

“I’m doing alright, good to see you,” he replied, clapping down on Jake’s shoulder.

Holt did not miss the way Jake flinched at the contact.

Jake’s father looked up to the captain. “Roger Peralta.  It’s nice to meet you,” he held out a hand.

Holt eyed the man, not sure what to make of him quite yet. “Raymond Holt.  Pleasure.” Holt shook his hand.

Roger looked down at Jake.  “Sorry for such short notice, son.  I was just wondering if you could help me out,” he paused.  “I’m in kind of a situation with the Canadian law, and I was hoping you could work the case for me.”

“Uh, yeah.  Sure thing, dad.” Jake looked down, avoiding eye contact.  “Just e-mail me the details when you have time.  I know how busy you are.”

Roger smiled and gave Jake another pat on the back.

Jake flinched again.

“Will do.  Make sure to read over the detail carefully,” he paused, choosing his next words purposefully.  “Wouldn’t want you to mess up,” Roger said as he turned to leave.

As the pilot walked away, Holt glanced down at Jake, who was still looking down.

“Peralta,” he said, calmly.  “Is everything alright?”

“Yep!” He said, too quickly. “Just gonna, gonna get something from the vending machine.  Let me know if you see Scully eat that two-week old baked potato he’s been eyeing.  Gross, right?” Jake laughed as he began walking towards the break room.  “Good talk, Captain.”

•••

Captain Holt sat, leaning back in his chair slightly, looking through the glass walls of his office.  Normally, he wouldn’t have such a relaxed posture, but something was... off. 

Ever since Roger’s visit, Jake had suddenly become a _very_ different person.  In the short time Holt observed the detective sitting at his desk, he was able to pick up on some clear uncharacteristic behavior.  For starters, Jake had been glued to his computer screen, not even stopping when Scully had, in fact, eaten that old baked potato.  Holt also noted his shaking hands, visible even from his office.

And the flinch.

What was often an affectionate gesture from a father had caused Peralta to flinch.  Twice.

Something was wrong.

He knew that Roger had been absent from Jake’s life since he was young, but this... wasn’t  that.  Holt was well aware of the obvious answer, but he couldn’t be so sure and assume.  What if he had read the situation completely wrong? 

“Peralta,” he called out to the room.  After Jake kept his eyes to the screen, Holt tried a second time.

“Peralta,” Holt tried to keep his voice calm.

Jake looked up.

“My office, please.”

Jake made his way quickly to the office, and stood in front of the desk, while Holt shut the door and closed the blinds. 

Jakes laughed nervously.  “What did I do this time, Captain?”

“Nothing, actually.  Take a seat.”

Once Jake was sitting, hunched over slightly in the chair, Holt began.

“Peralta, I’ve noticed something is,” Holt paused. “off with you today.  I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, but, would you like to talk about what happened with your father earlier this morning?”  

Jake spoke with false shock.  “What— what are you talking about?” He laughed nervously. “Everything is going amazing, it’s great to have him back in town.”

“Are you sure, Peralta? I know I often come off as cold, emotionally detached, or, as you like to put it, a “robot”, but I’ll listen if you need someone to talk to.”  

Jake began to stand.  “Thanks, Captain, but everything is going coolio over here.”

Holt eyed Jake with uncertainty as he walked to the door.

•••

Jake seemed to have calmed down considerably after their quick chat, and was back to his usual carefree self.  After having a lengthy conversation with Santiago, he continued his work while she went on her lunch break.

And, yet again, unannounced, Roger Peralta walked out from the elevators.

Holt observed.

Roger caught Jake by surprise, causing the detective to jump slightly, and accidentally knock over the cup of pens between his and Amy’s desks.  They began talking, and Holt observed Roger’s aggressive body language while Jake seemed to become almost _shy,_ as he began picking up the pens as his father stood above him.  No one else in seemed to notice the tension.  It was time for Holt to step in.

“Captain Peralta,” he approached the two.  “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Roger’s demeanor completely changed once he realized Holt was there.  His posture relaxed, and he now wore an easy-going smile.

“Captain Holt,” Roger crossed his arms. “I was just checking in on Jake’s progress with my case.”

“Ah, yes, well, I can assure you that He has it covered.” Holt stepped between the two.  “Now, if you’ll please see your way out, It’s always best if our detectives work with as little distraction as possible.”

Roger opened his mouth as if to speak, before noting the protective stance Holt had taken between him and his son.He backed off slightly, walking away with his hands raised.

“Hey, no problem, I’ll be on my way.  See you soon, Jake,” Roger said before walking away.

Jake had been silent this whole time, holding the cup of pens in his hand

One his father had left, Jake spoke.  “Thanks, Captain.  Sometimes he can be really annoying.  You know, dad stuff,” Jake let out a fake laugh. “Anyways, back to that case... for my dad...”

Holt watched the younger of the two awkwardly put the cup back on the desk and sit down.  He frowned, and made his way back to his office.

•••

“Gina, my office, immediately.”

Captain Holt once again shut the door and drew the blinds. 

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” Gina drawled.

“Yes.  Please take a seat.”

“Mercury’s in retrograde right now, so if I did anything wrong, blame it on space,” Gina said as she took a seat and sat across from the Captain, lazily crossing her legs.

“Actually, I had a few questions.  You were friends with Peralta in his youth, correct?”

Gina laughed.  “Yeah, since we were like, really small.  What do you want to know?  I have so many great blackmail stories.”

“Actually, I have some inquiries on the more... serious side.” 

“Ohh,” Gina’s face fell from it’s usual smirk.  “I know what you want know about.  Jake’s dad, right?”

“Yes, Gina,” Holt continued. “I am very... concerned.  Both by his father’s demeanor and Jacob’s reaction.  I have my suspicions, but I do not wish to assume.”

“Yeah, no kidding...” Gina sighed.  “Well it’s not really mine to tell.”

“I understand.” Holt said, returning to him work.

“Wait,” Gina said, frowning. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise to get rid of the guy.”

“If concern is warranted, I will deal with it.”

“Okay, i’ll tell you what’s up,” Gina paused before continuing. “Jake’s dad used to hit him when he was little.  And I mean like, really little, like from the time he could walk,” Gina sighed again. “I think that Jake’s mom kicked him out because she found out about the abuse.  And the cheating.  Really, all the things.  He’s a shitty guy, Captain.”

Holt found himself clenching his jaw.

“Thank you, Gina.  For letting me know.”

A palpable silence hung between the two.

“I wouldn’t normally tell that to anyone, but, I know you’ll take care of Jake and keep him away from that loser.  Just don’t let him know you know, okay? Again, it wasn’t really mine to tell.  It was just hard watching Jake have to go through this, and I want that guy gone. Asap,” Gina said as she got up to leave.

“Yes, thank you, Gina,” Holt looked down at some files. “Also, could you get me Roger Peralta’s phone number? I would like to have a chat with him.”

Gina smiled slightly as she walked through the door. “For sure.”

•••

Holt stood outside of the building, glancing around.  Roger had agreed to meet him here, as Holt had some matters to “discuss”. 

He checked his watch.  Seven minutes late.

It wasn’t that he was looking forward to this “little talk”, but he was ready to put the man in his place.  When his suspicions were confirmed that Roger was an abusive father, Holt found himself feeling more protective than he had ever felt in his life.  Holt was sure that he would do this for anyone in the Nine-Nine, but this felt different for some reason.

Holt knew that some of the worst criminals came from inside the home instead of from the streets, but it was still such a shock.  Every time he felt himself thinking about a young Jake living with Roger, he wanted to break something.

Gina had said that it had been happening since Jake could walk, and Holt couldn’t help but think of how scared and hurt Jake as a toddler would have been.  In this moment, he had wanted nothing more than to travel back in time, walk into Jake’s childhood home, stop the abuse in action, and give Roger Peralta a huge punch in the face.

Lost in his thoughts, Captain Holt almost didn’t notice Roger approaching, giving him a wave and cheesy smile.

“Sorry I’m a little late,” he said as he approached the other man.  “Hey, if this is about earlier with Jake, it was nothing.  He was just getting on my nerves a bit.  You know how he can be.”

Holt clenched his jaw.  “No, I don’t.  How can he be?” Hold was able to calmly ask, despite the fact that he was about five seconds away from giving this man a hard punch in the stomach.

“Oh c’mon, don’t act like you don’t get annoyed with him.  He’s such a child, always making mistakes,” he laughed.

Holt’s face remained like stone.  “While Jacob can be... challenging at times, he is one of the best detectives we have here at the Nine-Nine.” Holt paused to take a deep breath before speaking again. “I think it would be... best if you didn’t come back here, Captain.”

The pilot sputtered. “What do you mean? _My_ son is working on _my_ case here!”

Holt squared up his chest slightly.  “Yes, but I do not appreciate criminals hanging around freely in my precinct.  Especially ones who have committed such heinous crimes, such as yourself.”

“Really? Heinous?” Roger looked at him in disbelief.  “First of all, i’m innocent.  That’s why i’m here.  Second, smuggling drugs is not that ‘heinous’ of a crime.  Yeah, it’s bad, but it’s not a murder.”

“I’m not talking about the drugs.” Holt paused as he saw the other man’s eyes widen with realization.  “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“If you were there, you would have understood why I did what I did.  Also, it was only a few times, really,” he tried to back pedal.  “What ever he told you, he probably lied.  I never even left a mark.”

“Why should I believe you? And, for the record, he didn’t tell me,” Holt stood taller. “So, do not blame this on him.”

“Why do you even care, Captain?  He’s not your son, you’ll never replace me.  Don’t take what isn’t yours.”

“I am well aware that he is not my son,” Holt paused. “But, everyone in the squad is my family.  That means that I will protect each one from harm when I can.”

“Whatever, are we done here?” Roger was annoyed with this.  He had things to do.

Holt removed a folder from his jacket.

“This is all the work Jacob has done on the case so far.  It’s good work, and, I for one am proud of it,” he handed the folder to Roger. “You will take this to another police department in the city and let them solve it.”

Roger looked through the file.  “God, why is his handwriting so messy?” He said quietly to himself. He began to walk away.

“Before you leave,” Holt called out as Roger looked back at the man. “Just know that if you ever even _think_ about bothering Jake again, I will personally see to it that you are in pain _for the rest of your fucking life_.”

That was all it took to get Roger Peralta to leave.  This time, for good.

•••

Jake knew Holt had figured it out when he had relieved him of his father’s case.  He stated some issue with “conflict of interest due to familial ties,” but, Jake knew the real reason.  

There was only one person in the entire building who could have to Holt.

“Hey, Gina,” Jake greeted as calmly as he could, though Gina could tell his jaw was clenched. “Meet me in the break room, we have to talk.”

After Gina followed him in, Jake locked the door and exploded.

“What the hell, Gina!  I trusted you with that stuff about my dad.  I can’t believe you told Holt!” Jake yelled, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Gina sighed.  “Listen, Jake, I’m sorry, okay? Holt just wanted to help.”

“I get that, but you promised not to tell anyone!” Jake yelled, before taking a deep breath and slumping against the wall, tears forming in his eyes. “Now I just look like some poor, weak kid with daddy issues to Holt.”  He paused again. “And, my dad’s probably going to come back and be like, more mad than ever.  He’ll probably figure out soon enough that Holt knows.  He’ll think I told him.”

Seeing Jake like this was unsettling to Gina.  She had seen him mad and upset before, but the only time she’d ever seen him this emotional was when he told her why his dad left.  

They were nine.  It was a rainy Wednesday in March, and neither one had a lot of homework that day.  They were at Nana’s place, talking in one of the spare bedrooms.

It had come up so randomly.  The two had been talking about something to do with school, probably gossip about a teacher.  Jake had then, meekly asked Gina if he could tell her a secret.  Gina, of course, said yes, and Jake told her almost everything he could remember.

They had both cried for a good hour, Gina holding Jake in a tight hug.  After that night, Jake had gone back to his usual self, only ever becoming that upset when the topic of his dad came up, which, was rare.  Since they were adults now, they never talked about it.  It just didn’t feel relevant.

Finding herself back in the awkward silence of the break room, Gina put a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Jake.”

When he looked up, she continued.  “Listen, I know Holt doesn’t think you’re weak.  He has mad respect for you.  And, he was the one who asked me.  He does cares about you.”

“Thanks, Gina.”

“Also, I’m pretty sure your dad isn’t going to bother you again.”

“What?” Jake sounded almost hopeful.

“Well, Holt talked to your dad, like, an hour ago.  He basically threatened to make his life living hell if he ever tried to hurt you again,” Gina said.

Jake gave a little smile. “He actually did that for me?”

“Yeah, dude.  I’m telling you, he really cares about you.”

Jake smiled, this time ear to ear.  “Thanks, Gina.  For looking out for me.”

Gina smirked. “Anytime.”

•••

The the squad had gone out for drinks that night, because of a case that Rosa and Boyle had wrapped up that day.  Although Holt had been the one to volunteer to pay for drinks, he stood outside the back, despite the chilly night.

Jake tried to ignore it at first, just hoping that Holt would come to him, but he realized that he needed to do this.  Things would be awkward if he didn’t.

“Hey, Captain,” Jake opened the back door and stepped outside, as Holt turned to look at him.

“Peralta.  You enjoying the night?” 

“Yeah, it’s been alright,” Jake answered.  He sighed as a long, awkward pause hung in the air.

“I just, uh, wanted to thank you for what you did for me,” Jake said, looking down at his hands.  “It makes me feel a lot safer.”

Holt actually smiled, as he took a sip from his drink. “Of course.  I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it first.”

“To be completely honest, I wouldn’t have ever stood up to him myself or even let you.  I was too scared of the repercussions,” he felt his eyes begin to wet. “I know he can’t really hurt me anymore, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel like the four year old boy who was scared of getting hit because he didn’t put away his toys right.”

“He’ll never hurt you again.  I promise.  And, if he ever tries,” Hold felt his jaw clench for about the twentieth time that day. “Tell me, and I’ll take care of it.”

Another pause.

“You know, it’s funny,” Jake sighed. “When I was little, I thought it was normal.  Just how fathers were supposed to treat their sons. But it isn’t.  Never was, never will be,” He looked down at his drink.  “Fathers are supposed to protect their kids.  Like Terry does with his daughters.  Or,” Jake felt a lump form in his throat. “Like you.  Did with me.”

After he took the time to let that sentiment sink in, Holt wrapped an arm around Jake, and, before the Captain could process what was happening, Jake pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.  Without missing a beat, Holt wrapped his arms around the younger man, one hand pressed against the back of his hair, and the other on his back.

“Peralta,” Holt spoke when they pulled out of the hug. “I’m very proud of you, and how strong you’ve been.  I know people like that can make you feel weak, but you’re one of the strongest people I know.  Any sane father would be proud to call you their son.”

Jake wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Thank you,” he said, giving the man a small smile.

Holt put a hand on Jake’s shoulder.  “You know, you never took me up on that game of catch,” he smirked slightly.  “Offer still stands.”

Jake looked at Holt, his eyes still red and watery, a huge grin on his face.

“I’d like that.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll start this off by saying that I felt I had trouble writing some characters right, Gina in particular. While she isn’t the main focus, I still hope I did justice to her because I find her character so compelling in the show. Also, I am aware her actions in this are morally grey when it comes to her telling Holt about the abuse, but I do think it's a tricky situation, between her friend's trust and his safety and well-being. 
> 
> I just remember watching this episode and wanting Holt to straight up deck Roger in the face. And, recently, I considered the idea of Roger being much more than just a neglectful father. I figured those two concepts would mesh well together.
> 
> I’m not going to lie, I felt kind of ridiculous writing an angsty fic about a sitcom at first, but I’m kind of pleased with how it turned out.
> 
> Also, yes, I did change the title because I felt it didn’t fit it very well, but the new one is a lyric from the song "Take Me Somewhere Nice” by Mogwai


End file.
